You Are the Magic - Eating Disorder Recovery

My therapist shared something with me in one of our sessions, that individuals suffering from restrictive eating disorders are sometimes more successful in recovery when pregnant because instead of "eating for themselves" they know they have to eat for the baby. Thus, making the eating part much easier.

Obviously, I am much too young to be thinking about becoming a mom right now. However, I can completely understand why it would be easier for those expectant mothers in recovery. I find difficulty in nourishing myself because I honestly feel that "I don't deserve" to do so.

While not the same in any sense, when I was in Walt Disney World, I felt like for the first time, I could actually allow myself to recover.

If you ask, Cast Members will give you free personalized buttons when you are celebrating something special on your trip.

When I was in Walt Disney World, I felt like for the first time, I could actually allow myself to recover.

Truth?

I didn't have much of a choice in the matter.

My therapist and I met with my boyfriend prior to our trip and we came to the agreement that if I were to be able to enjoy the "Disney experience," I would have to follow my meal plan. Simply put, if I were to resist or not be able to meet my meal-plan requirements, we would have to go back to the hotel room until I was caught up again.

And those of you that have had the privilege of going to Disney (world and land alike) know that the amount of walking required is no joke.

So heading back to that earlier "pregnancy example," I had to make a choice to eat for something bigger than me. In my case, it happened to be the thousands of steps we made every day and the overall experiences of our trip. While I was not eating for another life, I was eating to preserve my own.

Another, win for me-and a major one at that- were my supplements. 

Another, win for me-and a major one at that- were my supplements. Since my nutritionist introduced me to them in the fall of 2021, I struggled to even incorporate one out of the three I was instructed to add to my meal plan per day.

The first night we were there, I woke up to my stomach rumbling aggressively at 5am. Naturally, the voices urged me to ignore the feeling and that I wasn't actually hungry. Finally, an hour later I got up and tip-toed to the fridge to have an Orgain. I figured, it would allow me to fall back asleep without the hunger and the bonus would be that I'd already have my first supplement out of the way- even before breakfast!

This feat was HUGE.

Back at home, I would push off having one until late afternoon, and because it was "so late" I would have trouble finishing more than one and stop. I never once met my meal plan until this day.

Throughout the trip, my supplements grew to become my friend. A friend I wasn't thrilled about tagging along on our vacation, but at least one I could count on.

Throughout the trip, my supplements grew to become my friend.

I am proud to say that since coming home, I have been able to sustain this new addition to my routine. Especially on long teaching days, my nutritionist and I decided it would be best to include an additional Orgain to help cover the abundance of exercise, so I am no longer in a deficit.

We've been finding unique ways to cover my labels- bringing a little disney magic into the studio

Following the food aspect of my plan is a challenge I am still working through. The trip, however, certainly gave me the push I needed to begin the process. Now that I at least feel comfortable with one aspect of my plan -the supplements- I know I can and will eventually conquer the food portion as well.

So while people might find it "silly" to love Disney as an adult, I cannot express enough gratitude. I truly feel that my trip saved me. 

As I mentioned in my previous blog, I have spent so much of my life denying myself what brings me joy. Disney is without a doubt one of those passions that's allowed me to start healing my inner child

and learn to have Grace with myself.

Why am I sharing this?

National Eating Disorder Awareness Week runs February 21st through February 27th.

Bringing awareness to eating disorders and my experiences is of utmost importance to me.

For some more resources continue to check my Instagram stories throughout the week

&

there are so many ways to get involved via NEDA's official website.